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I’m not very good at keeping a journal.  Or a diary.  I never have been.  But I do keep certain things – important, impactful things – written down somewhere, so I remember them.  And these comparatively few things are usually the things that I will remember, because I wrote them down.

Yesterday, I was talking to God after a really rough afternoon, and I remembered a post from my old blog:

Psalm 23 (my notes in italics):

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. I will trust You unconditionally and unquestioningly to take care of me.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, I will trust You to bring me good things, to cause me to flourish and be refreshed.
3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. I will trust You to take care of my safety and well-being.
4 Even though I walk through the the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Even when I go through the scariest times in my life, I will trust You to always take care of me. And I will find reassurance in Your authority and support.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. I will trust You to protect me and bring me honor in spite of those who may try to harm me or bring me down.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. I will trust in You and Your promises!

I want to make a better habit of writing things down – both the good and the bad – because it is good to remember the things God has done.  The saying, “time heals all wounds,” can be so true.  After so much time has passed, I sometimes find it hard to remember how difficult my previous trials were, and I face my current trials with despair, because I can’t see past them.  But looking back can give me the encouragement I need to look ahead, because now I remember feeling this sad/overwhelmed/angry before, but I also see how God was faithful, and He is always faithful, and He will get me through, just as He did before!

I read over my email for the 5th time in the last 2 days, corrected a word here, added a comma there, and attached my document.  Deep breath.  Ok, check one more time…recipient email? check. Subject line? check.  Should I read it one more ti…no, it’s fine.  Ok, ready, set…  I hold my breath…  Click.

Oh boy.  I did it.  I just applied for my first event-related job. 

Maybe it doesn’t sound like such a big deal to you, Reader, but I guess “firsts” are always the biggest deal to the people closest to them.  Yes, it’s the one I mentioned 2 weeks ago (see my blog post Wanted: More event experience!).  So I was a little nervous and had to rally myself (with some help, of course).  🙂  But I did it!  And whether or not it turns into a new job – or even an email reply – this will be my first career leap in this direction, which makes it worth the while.

So, I know that I really enjoy working events…I’ve helped out with several, and even co-coordinated a few.  But, as I check out my options for finding employment in my newly-desired field, I have to admit, I feel a little intimidated.  For example, I spoke with a friend of mine who works locally in the event/meeting planning industry, who referred me to a job opening.  I checked it out, and it would be a bit stretch, but it wouldn’t be the first time I applied for a job that was slightly out of my reach.  Last time I did that, I actually ended up the top four candidates!  But, as I poked around on the company website, I found that the other three people who currently work in the very same position that I would be applying for all have 9 to 26 years of experience in their field.  Anyone else in the staff with less is apparently just an assistant.  Woof!

In the meantime, I’m getting involved at my church – the women’s retreat is coming up in October, and I’ve been asked to lead the opening session! 🙂  We’re doing an “around-the-world theme”, and I’m going to do a short presentation on Australia and lead a devotional.  While talking to the pastor’s wife, who is the head of our church’s women’s ministry, I also was able to get my name in to help with future events.  I thought it was kind of funny when she was shocked that someone would actually enjoy making reservations and setting up decorations.  Apparently, not everyone is as in to that sort of thing as others. 😉  Needless to say, I’m really looking forward to working on more events!

Oh, and maybe I’ll apply for that job anyway, just for kicks. 🙂  I mean, it couldn’t hurt, right?