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I don’t know if anyone else ever goes through that period of “What the hell am I doing here?!” right after they make or experience major change…but that’s how I’ve been feeling lately.  To sum it up, the past 14 months have lead to job changes for both me and Hubby, the sale of our house, a move to another state where we don’t know anyone (putting us further away from family and friends than ever before), and me being pregnant with our first child.  And it’s taking its toll…at one of my last doctor’s appointments, I cried uncontrollably the entire time, just because I felt so overwhelmed with all the changes (especially the pregnancy) and had no support outside of my husband, who needed his own.  The nurse handled it ok, but the doctor asked if I wanted antidepressants.  No!  I just want a friend!  Why did I have to get pregnant AFTER we left all our friends?

So, I decided to take a break from my pity party to do some actual reflection.  I came across two songs that said it all (don’t you love when that happens?).  The first is Painting Pictures of Egypt by Sara Groves, which draws a great parallel between how I’ve been feeling and how the Israelites felt when they were going through the desert in their escape from Egypt.

The other song is If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens.  I’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself and accepted that God knows things that I have no way of understanding.  There’s a reason for everything.

I also remembered that I went through a similar phase when I moved to our previous state.  I left everything I knew and was in a place where I didn’t know anyone.  I spent 2 or 3 years openly expressing how much I didn’t like it there and my home state was so much better.  But eventually, I found a purpose, along with many great friends, and now I really miss that place.  God was faithful, and He will be again now and forever.

Isaiah 49:1-13

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I once read a post on a friend’s blog – My Interior By Design – that went like this:

1. Healthy things grow.

2. Growing things change.

3. Changing things challenge us.

4. Challenge forces us to trust.

5. Trust leads to obedience.

6. Obedience makes us healthy.

7. Healthy things grow.

Change.  It can be so difficult.  It can be so good.  It can be a pain in the butt!  Changes have really hit me as I adjust to life in a new state (and yes, sometimes I walk around during my day with the David Bowie song, “Changes”, stuck in my head).  For example, in the state of Georgia, you get your driver’s license from the Department of Driver Services (or DDS), but then you go across town to a totally different office run by the county to get your car’s plates.  Never had to do that before, and the idea sounded awful – two different offices to complete a task that I used to be able to take care at one?! Come. On.  Well, it turned out to be a rather painless and efficient system, because it took all of 20 minutes for both my husband and I to get our car tags, so…yay! 🙂

Another thing I’ve been adjusting to is not knowing anyone around here.  Well, I’ve got my neighbor, who’s been really nice, but she’s much older than me, so we probably would run out of things to talk about if we ever found a place we both wanted to hang out.  I really drive myself crazy at church or Starbucks, which are both places I used to go and see friendly faces.  Oh, well, the faces are friendly enough around here, too, but none of them are familiar.  That doesn’t stop my from scanning every face, trying to find someone familiar!  Still haven’t found one.  😦

It’s hard to think back and remember that only 5 years ago, I was in the same situation in Virginia.  I had just moved from the Midwest, where I was born and raised.  Friendly strangers, low humidity, and cold weather were all I had known!  Needless to say, moving to the East Coast/South, living 20 minutes from the ocean was quite a culture shock!  I didn’t know anyone, I didn’t have a job, and I didn’t have a clue where to start!  Fast forward half a decade, and as we packed up all our earthly belongings (besides the ones that are still being stored in my parent’s basement), we said several teary goodbyes to people who had become close friends.  People who I had never known existed a few years before are now some of the dearest people to me. 

And now, I look forward to living that all over again, even though I have no idea what the process will look like, and it probably won’t be all that fun sometimes, but one day, I will be able to look at my life and smile at all the wonderful people who have come into it at different times, in different places, and made it so much more special.

So here’s to growth, change, challenge, trust, and obedience!

Today is my first day being a true stay-at-home housewife.  Even though I left my last job in November to move to another state, I am only just beginning to count my days of housewifing today because this is my first day home alone. <Feel free to insert the Macaulay Culkin scream here…you know you want to>  My husband started his new job today, which leaves me in the house with our dogs, what’s left of the moving boxes, and the laundry.

It has been an interesting day – this is the first time since I-can’t-remember-when that I’ve been without a job or school schedule to keep me on task.  Not having an automatic structure in place, I spent the better part of my morning nursing a cup of coffee and browsing the internet.  I started with the essentials, of course (Facebook, Twitter, headlines of msn.com), then moved on to re-formatting my blog, and wrapped up with glancing through Google’s top results for event planners in my new city.  After a look at the clock (the entire morning had escaped me), I tackled some boxes; unfortunately, it was all the little bathroom things that need organizing, so there was a lot of work with little visible progress.  Very frustrating.  Thankfully, I have a very understanding husband, and after I vented my own disappointment of my lack of productivity, he simply said “It’s ok.”  🙂  I love him! 

I think keeping lists will be the biggest help for me.  I used to have a notebook designated for all my to-do items at work.  I think I’ll do the same for all my home projects.  That way, I can take a look at what needs to be done at the beginning of my day and assess my progress in the evening.  I’m a very list-oriented person – I find them very motivating. 🙂  Well, that about sums up my first day of “housewifing.” 

In other news, my husband had a WONDERFUL first day of work!  Yay! 🙂

2010…Oy!  What a ride!  The first few months were alright, but April thru December have been quite the rollercoaster ride.  It has been one transitional phase after another, and let me tell you: I am itching to settle into a routine again!

To summarize: Within a matter of days, my grandmother passed away and my  husband lost his job (boo!).  Then my little brother got married (yay!).  We put our house up for sale in a nearly impossible market (boo!).  Our house actually sold (yay!)!  My husband got a job offer – in a different state (yay!).  We moved from our house to a friend’s apartment to an extended stay hotel into our new house in Georgia (boo!).  We got to travel to Mexico and Minnesota and visit friends and family during the holidays before my husband starts his new job (yay!).

*Whew*

I’m actually kind of looking forward to getting back to our new place in Georgia, just so I can start unpacking and establish something that resembles a daily schedule!  Oh, and bonus: I get to start my own job-search, only this time it’ll be focused on something that I can do from home (yay!). 😉  And of course, I’ll be able to focus on blogging more regularly and keep you all updated on my new life as a southern housewife and my job search. 

So, here’s looking at you, 2011!  Here’s to a clean slate – a new year, a fresh start! 🙂